Integration

I see it now as what is required for true evolution is integration of our various parts - spiritual, mental, emotional, physical. Patriarchy has taught the superiority and inferiority of some of these parts. This has resulted in splits and denials within our consciousness, within the way we relate to self - judging some parts of self as better and others as worse, than other parts, leading to fracturing and self-denial. And of course we have all had plenty of outer experiences, some quite painful, to prove to us that we are "right" in feeling as split off as we do.

Some of us try to transcend the earthly - the emotional and physical - to hang out in the so-called perfection of spirit. But this is not truly doing the work - it is not balanced.

I increasingly see splitting off as the essence of trauma - where, due to emotional overload, we simply split off parts of self, to the point we are in denial they even exist; fracturing, fragmenting as strategy to avoid the pain of facing past (or experiencing additional) hurt and pain.

I am finding that the actual process tends to be slower than I would like. Experiences pointing to God that I've had have forced me to honestly admit that divinity is the essence of my core. So when I deny myself, put myself down, split off from parts of myself, in essence I am denying God, splitting off from God, putting God down. And that does not fly in my value system. Through being honest with self, I've had to rearrange my relationship with myself, to get it more aligned with my feelings about my inner divinity. I HAD to learn to be nicer to myself because not being nice to myself was obviously not aligned with the nature of God/dess.

This leads to a necessary, ongoing growth of self-acceptance. This is the Virgo to Pisces principle - acceptance of the inherent imperfection of everything, leading to accepting my imperfections and limitations. If God and Life are imperfect, then the patriarchal-based belief that I have that there is something wrong with me being imperfect simply has to go. Lately I have been asking Virgo-like people to "show me one person or thing on the entire planet that is perfect". And of course they can't. Then I add "Well, how realistic then are your beliefs that you can and must be the first?". That is the point - we have learned to believe we must.

Starting to change those beliefs kicks off a process that inevitably leads to increasing self-acceptance, including acccepting of the limitations inherent in being in human form. Self-acceptance, when practiced regularly, of itself neaturally brings on self-love. And self-love leads to deeper experiences of divinity, because self-love inherently heals and integrates. It is a natural process that has been thwarted under patriarchal beliefs. The more integration that occurs, the deeper the God experiences that can occur.

I keep seeing that self-acceptance, leading to self-love, is the key to integratng the fractured parts of the personality. We are all just fine, exactly the way we are - wounds and fractures and imperfections and all. As we resolve our beliefs that there is something wrong with us, its creates space for more and more awareness of divinity to enter our life, bringing increasing wholeness and balance, step by step.

The key seems to be to be OK with going at the pace the process has in mind, not getting frustrated because it's not unfolding at the pace I think I would like it to go at. Ironically, the more I accept it as it shows up, the faster it seems to go. Yet the only real effort that's required of me as this speeds up is to keep accepting myself as I am, the way I am capable of showing up, as imperfect as I may previously have judged that to be. The rest pretty much resolves itself over time, slowly but steadily.

This is NOT an easy reality to live in, especially at this time. But in some ways thats probably a big part of the point in the first place - to test ourselves against such strong opposition. How else can we know how much we are really capable of?