Evolutionary Astrology and Transformational Counseling
with Steve Wolfson

  Steve Wolfson
  Evolutionary Astrology

  Ashland Oregon USA

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Lunar North Node
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Thursday, May 24, 2007

"We Shall See"

What follows is my edited version of an old fable. Life has been teaching me for some years now to live in this fashion.

There once was an old Chinese farmer. One day the old farmer's only horse broke out of the corral and ran away. The farmer's neighbors, all hearing of the horse running away, came to the farmer's house to view the corral. As they stood there, the neighbors all said, "Oh what bad luck!" The old Chinese farmer replied, "We shall see."

About a week later the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses, which the old farmer and his son quickly corralled. The neighbors, hearing of the corralling of the horses, came to see for themselves. As they stood there looking at the corral filled with horses, the neighbors said, "Oh what good luck!" The farmer replied, "We shall see."

A couple of weeks later, the old farmer's son's leg was badly broken when he was thrown from a horse he was trying to break. A few days later the broken leg became infected and the son became delirious with fever. The neighbors, all hearing of the incident, came to see the son. As they stood there, the neighbors said, "Oh what bad luck!" The farmer replied, "We shall see."

At that same time in China, there was a war going on between two rival warlords. The warlord of the old farmer's village was involved in this war. In need of more soldiers, he sent one of his captains to the village to conscript young men to fight in the war. When the captain came to take the farmer's son he found a young man with a broken leg who was delirious with fever. Knowing there was no way the son could fight, the captain left him there. A few days later, the son's fever broke. The neighbors, hearing of the son's not being taken to fight in the war and of his return to good health, all came to see him. As they stood there, each one said, "Oh what good luck!" The farmer replied, "We shall see."

I gradually realized it had always been my investment in desired or undesired outcomes that was the source of a lot of the pain I experienced. Life started showing me the natural way to live is to stay centered in this moment. When I found myself off center, I began asking myself "OK, what is wrong in this moment?" Not in an hour or a week or when the rent will be due or the new tranny needs to be be paid for, but right now, this moment, what is wrong? I started noticed that, 95% of the time, my answer was "Nothing".Then I started noticing that almost all of the worst case scenarios I’d feared might occur generally never happened. And then I noticed that the expectations I placed on what would be to me future wonderful outcomes also rarely unfolded in the ways I’d hoped they would. Gradually I learned to stop having so many expectations and demands on Life. Now I set intention, sort of like placing an order. Then I let it go, learning to be OK with whatever happens. If what I ordered is out of stock, so to speak, I learn to be fine with that. I started seeing I only experience disappointment when I hold expectations. The more accepting and appreciative of whatever Life brings I am, the less disappointment I experience.

Gradually I started observing that, in the long run, EVERYTHING that occurred proved in the end to have been for my overall best interest, even things I initially experienced as unpleasant or unwanted. All of them taught me things that moved me further along towards realizing my deepest desires, which are about understanding. Gradually I experienced, knew from within, that Life is on my side, no matter how much it may at certain moments feel otherwise. I saw that I am never being punished, I am always only being given what is necessary to fulfill, over the long haul, my own deepest hopes and aspirations. Which simply can not be fulfilled while I am the way I presently am, simply because the container (the way I view myself) is not yet large enough to hold the truths which would quench my thirst. Thus the container (my sense of who I am) is continually being s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d so I CAN receive the answers, the insights and gifts I seek, which Life would be delighted to fulfill for me, to have them "added unto me", if only I could be open wide enough to receive them! (And it is LITERALLY being "added unto me", for it changes who I see myself as, makes me see myself in a larger way – thus "added unto me".) That I saw is what this while sometimes uncomfortable process is all about – preparing me to be wide open enough to receive the very things I most deeply seek, yet resist.

Sure, it is best to not juice up negative expectation, like "if I think about what could go wrong I am just feeding that possible reality.” Yes, that is true. However, I found that going neurotic in such ways every time I found myself with a negative expectation, is just as self-defeating as thinking negative thoughts. The most important thing of all I have learned is, for me anyway, the core change necessary is to learn to be kind to myself, no matter WHAT is going on, no matter how many of my limits and "flaws" are in my face in this moment. The most significant issue to me is how I treat myself when I find I have "slipped" from being aligned to my highest intentions.

I experience those moments as possibly the most potent moments of all for growth potential. For only when my old familiar stuff is in my face, have I the total opportunity to make a different choice. To be kind where previously I have been brutal, ten thousand times. In those moments, more powerful than any other moment, I have an incredible opportunity to make a different choice, a new choice. And in making a new choice enough times, gradually those old hardened thought habits soften and are naturally replaced with others more aligned to where I am NOW.

And so it goes. Like the old Chinese farmer, I strive to face every blow with "We shall see", and every joy with "We shall see". I am the witness, the observer, while at the same time participating in the play. Yet I am also attuned to a deeper play, one that knows that all of this was going on long before "I" was born, and will remain going on long after "I" am gone. From THAT perspective, nothing can ever be wrong.

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